Happy Christmas
by Telemachos
Summary: “Goodbye, James,” she said when he didn’t speak. She leaned forward, kissed his cheek, and, before he knew it, she was gone. Forever. And everything that he had ever worked for was merely dust in the wind...until Christmas Day, that is. Fluffy LJ oneshot.


Summary: "Goodbye, James," she said when he didn't speak. She leaned forward, kissed his cheek, and, before he knew it, she was gone. Forever. And everything that he had ever worked for was merely dust in the wind…until Christmas Day, that is.

Disclaimer: These things are SO pointless. If I really owned Harry Potter, do you think I'd be here? Hell no.

Author's Note: I actually like how this turned out. Give it a try and then **review**! Do you know how hard it is to see those stat hit numbers go up and still only get two reviews? Very.

By the way, this was rewritten, reposted, and renamed. I hated the original title, which was _Christmas with Complications_, since it was so corny. And it didn't really flow together like I wanted it.

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**Happy Christmas**

December 25 dawned to be a miserable day indeed, what with the raging winds and bitterly cold snow. Apparently James Potter hadn't realized that, because in spite of the terrible weather, here he was, trooping down a deserted road he had never seen before in his life.

A sudden flurry of wind knocked his hat off his head, sending it flying away from his grasp and over the white-crusted hedges of the corner house. Cursing his clumsiness, he abandoned the hat and pulled the collar of his coat further up, tucking his head deeper into the wooly material for warmth. Passing an intersection, he paused for a moment, peering up at the green street sign that labeled the street as "Beachside Avenue" (although he did wonder why Muggles had called a street "Beachside" when they were at least fifty kilometers from the ocean) and turned left so he was facing a dead end road lined with neat Muggle houses. Making his way down the sidewalk, he pulled a piece of paper out from his pocket and glanced at the houses he was passing, looking for the matching number. A pang struck him as he remembered the exact moment that Lily Evans had given him the slip of parchment.

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"_So…" she said, shifting from foot to foot as she gazed at him with an unreadable expression. "I guess this is it."_

_His stomach knotted as he stared at her, the only girl who had ever turned him down; the only girl he'd ever loved. "I guess," he said, his heart drowning in his chest. There was an uncomfortable pause as they both looked at each other, overcome with emotions. "I start Auror training right away," he said pointlessly after a moment of silence, knowing that she already knew. "I don't think…"_

"_I know."_

_He felt like his heart was about to burst. He knew that she knew the protocol; he had told her before that he couldn't be in contact with anyone during the first six months of training. "Lily, I…"_

"_It's okay, James," she said softly, cutting him off. "We…we all knew that you would do this after school, go into the world and start saving people, just like you did at Hogwarts…" Her eyes began to tear up, and she looked away quickly in the hopes that he wouldn't notice. He did, though. "You're one of my best friends, James. Just…don't forget me when you go."_

_For what seemed like the millionth time that day, his heart felt like it was going to rip in half. "God, Lily, I—" He had so many things to say to her still, so many things to fix. He couldn't have her walk away not knowing how he felt after all this time of hiding it. He hadn't wanted to spoil their precarious friendship before, but now there was a chance that he would never see her again. _

"_Goodbye, James," she said when he didn't speak, the right words refusing to come to him. She leaned forward, kissed his cheek, and, before he knew it, she was gone, lost to the crowds in the bustling train station. He slumped against the wall, a lump forming in his throat. He couldn't believe it. She was gone. After seven years of knowing her, one of _loving_ her, she was gone, and now she would never truly know. He had thought that this year, this last year, everything would come through for him, but all that had happened was friendship. And now even that was over._

_A piece of parchment fluttered to the ground from his front pocket. Too exhausted and numb to feel any real curiosity, he bent down to throw it away and noticed that there was neat, loopy writing on it. Writing he recognized. Lily's writing._

_Frowning slightly, he opened it. Written in Lily's trademark purple ink was an address and a small note on the top: "Six months, James." A slow smile began to form on his face until the point where he thought he might burst out whooping in the middle of the train station. Six months…and he would see her again. _

_Grinning widely, he picked up his trunk and began the long walk to the parking lot, where a Ministry car was waiting to pick him and the other Auror candidates up. Six months…he mused silently. And then…then I'll tell her _everything.

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And so here he was, standing outside in the middle of a blizzard on Christmas, hoping against hope that she would still be there. He looked back down at the parchment, wrinkled and folded almost beyond recognition, and stopped in front of a small white house with a short picket fence. It would have been almost cute in the springtime, but right now it looked only frozen against the bleak white clouds that shrouded the sky. Gathering his courage, he opened the gate, struggling slightly to move the frozen hinges. He finally got it open and walked through the yard, stopping ten yards away from the door to peer into the house.

The living room looked warm and inviting from the outside, the whitewashed walls decorated with strings of berries and popcorn. He wondered, briefly, why Muggles would put berries and popcorn up as decoration, but he supposed that their concepts of holiday adornments had always been wildly different from those of the wizarding world. He remembered that Lily had always been amazed about things that he had thought menial at Hogwarts.

As his thoughts strayed back to Lily, his stomach lurched in anticipation. He began to walk toward the front door in order to ring the bell, but before he could go any further, he saw something through the window that made him freeze in his steps.

A redheaded woman walked into the room wearing a pair of tight, form fitting jeans and an emerald sweater that, even from a distance, he knew matched her eyes. She was even prettier than she had been in school, her hair longer than it was six months ago and styled so that it tumbled down her back in waves of wild curls. She wasn't as skinny as she had been, either, her body filling out just enough to enhance her curves and make her look all the more beautiful. A painful thump in his heart reminded him how much he missed her, but before he could do or say or even think anything, a tall, blonde man had walked into his line of vision, straight towards Lily.

It was an innocent gesture, really. She turned and, with an infectious grin that James knew well, merely beckoned the man to come to the table. He did, and, taking her hand, drew out a chair for her that she took. He sat in the seat right next to her and gave her a dimpled, charming grin that could have had any other woman swooning. It was simple…and yet the look of unadulterated love cut him deeper than any knife could have.

James felt his whole world beginning to crash down on him as he watched the man draw a deck of regular Muggle cards from his pocket and began dealing them out. His eyes were beginning to prickle uncomfortably, but he couldn't seem to rip his eyes off the image of Lily…his Lily…sitting at a table in a warm house with a man he didn't know. He didn't think it could have been worse if she had kissed him outright; the simple way that she seemed so at _home _with him was far worse. She laid a card down on the table and looked up at the man mischievously. He glanced at his own card and slapped his forehead dramatically, putting it down with an exaggerated show of reluctance. Lily laughed and threw her arms around the man, giving him a happy kiss on his cheek.

His heart really did break then.

He turned away, his breath escaping into the air to form a small cloud just above his face. He shut his eyes tightly and swept his hair back from his forehead, oblivious to the biting wind on his uncovered hands. His brain was numb, trying to process the scene that he had just intruded on.

After all this time, she was married to someone – _someone other than him_. He couldn't believe it. She was goddamned MARRIED, either that or in a serious relationship. He knew what the gaze the two had shared meant; he could see it even through the window. After all, he had been giving her those looks for years and she never even noticed.

He couldn't believe that he had thought he had a chance. It seemed as though the fates had chosen that he would always have a platonic relationship with Lily Evans, nothing more. A bitter wave of anger and inconsolable grief swept over him. For the first time in his life, he really felt like crying. Not because of a cut or something else that had to deal with physical pain. No, for the first time in his life, his heart was really breaking.

He felt lost. Up until this point, his main mission in life since his fourth year at Hogwarts was to "get" Lily Evans. At some point she _had_ to realize that he was serious about her; that he genuinely liked her. But now he knew that she hadn't. She didn't. Everything had been a failure, a waste of time. If only he would have realized that earlier.

His chest tightened painfully as he swallowed, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach. _Let her go…_a voice in the back of his head chimed. _Let her go._

So he made what could have been the biggest mistake of his life. He walked back to the sidewalk, barely managed to shut the gate, and gave one last look to the window.

Neither Lily nor the man were still there.

He turned, jammed his hands in his pockets, and walked away, trying to ignore the awful, traitorous feeling in his gut that told him that he was being stupid, that he could fight for her just _one more time_.

"James?"

The world froze. He recognized that voice, leaden with hope and fear and pain. It had haunted his dreams ever since that last day by the train. Slowly, moving as though he were in a dream, he turned around to see her.

His breath caught in his throat, and he had to stop himself from running to her right that instant. She was still wearing the jeans and emerald sweater from before and had nothing else on apart from a pair of short boots. A rise of indignation and protectiveness swelled inside of him.

"What are you doing? It's below freezing out here!" he said, his anger towards her dissipating as he fumbled with the zipper of his Muggle coat and threw it around her shoulders.

"You were going to leave."

His hands stopped moving to fasten the buttons and zipper on the coat and he looked down. "I guess you just looked so happy in there," he mumbled, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

She backed away from him, her eyes wide with disbelief. "What are you talking about, James? You come back after _six months_ and you can't even come in to see me? My God, it doesn't matter that I've missed you more than anyone else, or that you were my _best_ _friend _for half of a year, does it? You—I can't believe that you—" She turned away, blinking furiously.

"Lily," he said painfully, her every word tearing at his heart even more. "God, Lily. _Look at me_." She turned to face him reluctantly, and he pulled her towards him, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to her, over and over again. "I never meant to hurt you, Lil, I just…"

She sniffed loudly and burrowed her head in the crook of his arm. In spite of the weather, and the situation, and the fact that she could be married, he felt the corners of his mouth uplift into a grin. He held her as long as he could, breathing in her flowery scent, until she broke away from his grasp, wiping her eyes with the back of her palm and meeting his gaze with impossible intensity.

"Why did you go, James," she said wearily, voicing it as more of a comment rather than a question. "If Mum hadn't seen you through the window—"

His arms tightened around her as he searched for an excuse. Not finding one, he resorted to a simple, "I know."

She had to look up at him from her position in order to see his face. "But why, James? Why would you leave? I've waited for you, I told you I would! Ever since the beginning of the month, I thought you'd show up."

James tousled his hair with his hand like he always did when he was nervous, noticing that Lily's eyes followed his movements. He quickly dropped his arm to his side, remembering that she hated him doing that.

"Are you married?" he asked before he could stop himself.

His heart sank as the corner of her mouth twitched. That was it. She was married, and there was nothing he could—

"_Married_? Are you serious? I'm eighteen, James!" she said, bursting into laughter that was carried away by the wind. His mouth dropped open.

"You—you're not—" he sputtered, amazed. "Then who was that guy in the living room?"

"What guy?" she asked, perplexed. He scowled.

"The guy in the living room, the blonde one that was playing cards with you," he snapped distastefully.

Now it was her turn for her jaw to drop. "You mean David? My _cousin_ David?"

James felt his cheeks redden as he realized how stupid he had been. She had told him about David a few times. He was the only cousin that she ever really spent time with, and, according to Lily, he was also gay. "Um, yeah, must have been…" he mumbled, a blush spreading up his cheeks, wishing the earth would just swallow him up. He glanced at Lily shamefacedly only to see that she was still grinning.

"You mean to say," she said, biting her lower lip to contain her mirth. "That you were jealous of _David_?"

"It sounds much stupider when you say it aloud, but yeah," he grumbled, looking everywhere but at her. Light fingers on his chin forced him to look at her.

"Why were you jealous?" she asked him softly, her cheeks and nose red because of the wind. As she stared at him, James felt his insides begin to melt even when all around him it was snowing.

"Lily," he whispered, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek. His eyes dropped to her lips, bright red even in the moonlight, then back up to her glittering emerald eyes. "Lily, can I—?"

She answered his question for him by closing the distance between them, crashing her lips into his. A dim feeling of amazement came over him for a moment, simply from the fact that he was kissing _Lily Evans_, before he was brought back to earth. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and cupped her face in one of his hands while the other gripped her waste and pulled her closer to him. His kisses drifted from her mouth to move up her neck, nipping and biting his way up her jaw line. She gasped sharply and pulled him back to her lips, meeting him in a mixture of desperation and passion that destroyed any previous doubt. Her hands moved up from his chest to tangle in his messy black hair, still wet from the snow, tugging him sharply and causing him to emit a groan.

"Lily…" he whispered hoarsely against her lips. "You don't…you don't even know what you do to me…"

She broke away hesitantly, not backing up enough for him to have to let go of her. "James, I love you," she whispered, capturing his gaze in her bright emerald eyes. He let out a warm breath, suddenly wondering why he had ever thought it cold out there before.

"Do you…do you mean that?" he asked hesitantly. She nodded, her eyes betraying her anxiety for his reaction. A grin lit up his face, only beginning to hint at the ecstasy he was feeling at the moment. Picking her up and twirling her around in the snow, he dropped her down next to him and grinned at her happily. "I've loved you since I first saw you," he said sincerely, enjoying how beautiful she looked when she blushed.

"You can't love someone based on their looks," she reprimanded softly, bumping his shoulder with hers. He smiled and caught both of her hands in his.

"Nope," he said, beaming wickedly at her. "The first time I saw you was when you pushed Nott into the lake for calling you a Mudblood. I couldn't even see your face, it was too dark, but _man_! You even had the Marauders' respect for that one!"

She smiled and blushed again. "Speaking of the Marauders, do you guys see each other too often anymore?"

"Not as much as I would've hoped. But once I'm done with Auror training things will settle down. I see Sirius every week or so, and Remus comes by whenever he's in town. Not Peter so much." He gave her a half smile. "I guess we're all growing up."

"I guess," she said quietly.

He shuffled his feet and traced her palms with his finger. "Are you cold?" She shook her head. "I just remembered, Lil, it's Christmas." She looked up at him, catching the mischievous glint in his eye.

"I know. Happy Christmas, James."

"Happy Christmas. Do you want to open what I got you?"

She raised her eyebrows at him, a grin forming on her lips. "You got me something?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Yes."

"Okay, then," she said. He pulled out a long rectangular package from his coat – the one she still had on – and handed it to her. She eyed it suspiciously, remembering all of the pranks he and the rest of the Marauders had pulled when they were at school. "Is it…safe?" she asked cautiously, weighing the package in her hands. He gave her an affronted look.

"Do you really think I was going to convince you by hexing your present?"

"Good point," she said, carefully unfolding the edges of the crinkly Christmas paper. "Oh my God, James, this is for _me_?" She stared at the sleek white-gold necklace, fingering the large emerald that hung on the end and was surrounded on both ends by tiny diamond droplets. Holding it up to her chest, she gaped at it and looked up to see James' grinning face just inches from her own.

"Do you like it?" he asked huskily.

"I love it!" she said, throwing her arms around his neck before letting go to go back to gaping at the necklace. "I can't believe you got this for me, James, it must have cost Galleons and Galleons to pay for—"

He cut her off with a quick kiss on the lips. "You can make up for it," he said cockily, raising his eyebrows suggestively. She mock-gasped and hit him on the shoulder with her hand.

"Lily, you're freezing," James said, horrified, as he caught her hand. She rolled her eyes.

"Well if I'm freezing I can't feel it," she said calmly. "You're probably cold too, you haven't got your coat any more." He shook his head arrogantly.

"Nope. I'm a strong, athletic, and incredibly handsome man. I can't feel the cold," he said haughtily. She laughed and rolled her eyes again.

"Mm, yeah. Sure. That was what I was thinking, really."

"You know you were. And you have snow on your eyelashes," he said affectionately, rubbing the aforementioned. She smiled up at him impishly.

"You have snow everywhere," she teased. "You do know that you could have used a simple warming charm to melt it off you and keep out the cold?" He winced and she fought back a grin. "And _you _were Hogwarts Head Boy for a year…" she muttered playfully.

"Well I bet you're not as good at transfiguration."

"Probably not."

She snuggled deeper into his arms, breathing slowly as she tried to memorize his scent. "Do you have to go back for training?"

She felt him stiffen under her. "Yes, Lil, I do," he said, his tone grim, drawing her away to look her in the eye. "But I _am _allowed to see people now."

"Just see?" she joked

"Depends what you're implying," he returned, starting to smile.

"Oh, I don't know," she said, pulling him down to her level. "We could work something out…"

Now it may have been the worst weather that there ever had been on a Christmas Day in London, but if you tell that to either James Potter or Lily Evans, they'll never know what you're talking about. Because for them, it couldn't have been any warmer.

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_Hmm…I really enjoyed the end. Especially the last sentence._

_And as for now, you all know what I'm going to say…so do it!  
Review, please!!!_


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